Random Thoughts

Would you like to buy a phone you’ll really hate? Then you should definitely buy a Sony Ericsson T637. Look. Look at what they did with this phone. THERE ARE NO CALL AND HANG-UP BUTTONS. They replaced them with “clear” and “go back”. For Pete’s sake, what the hell am I doing with my phone 99% of the time!? I’m calling and hanging up. When am I clearing and going back!? Who thought this was more important than call and hang-up?

So, of course, I have to wonder. How did this come to be? Who at Sony Ericsson could possibly have the seemingly impossible combination of mental disability and absolute power? Here’s my theory. I think Mr. Sony Ericsson has a lazy stoner kid. This kid just wanted to sit around and play Tony Hawk all day long, but papa-san had different ideas. Mr. Sony Ericsson made him take a job at the family business. So Junior decides to get even with dad by screwing up the family business. “I know what will make sales of these phones tank!” he thought, “I’ll get rid of the call and hang-up buttons. Then I can play video games and get stoned all day long without this stupid job getting in the way. Heh heh heh.” And thus the evil plot was hatched.

This evil plot happened to coincide with an evil plot by the cell phone carriers. They wanted to make more money from having people use their phones to go on the internet. “Together we will rule the world!” the evil carrier person tells Junior. Junior is staying up late in the lab, becoming a cell phone supervillain. He acquires some evil henchmen. Every supervillain needs evil henchmen. Together they plan to make a new Frankenbutton. This monstrosity combines “hang up” and “go online” into a single button of pure evil. As soon as you press “hang up” it turns into “go online”. Which is just great if you’re in the habbit of pressing “hang up” a bunch of times to make sure you really did hang up. Now you’re hanging up and going online. That just cost you $1. Oh, did you do that again? That’s another $1. Hey, did you accidentally do that again? Gosh that’s too bad. That’s another $1.

And, for the coup de grace… the camera button. This is the work of an evil genius. It seems so nice and accommodating at first glance. Look, they gave me a special button so it only takes one click to take a picture. And they put it in a spot where I can hold my phone sideways like a camera and the button right where the shutter button usually is on a camera. What could possibly be evil about that? What you can’t see is the button that’s on the exact opposite side. Can you guess what that button is? Of course, it’s our favorite GO ONLINE button. See, if you want to take a picture, you have to brace under the camera button by putting your thumb on the go online button. So now you take a picture and go online.

I think we haven’t seen the last of this new evil cell phone supervillain. Be alert my friends…be alert.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 7th, 2005 at 3:28 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.