people think I’m gay
Today I was greeted with a chat message from my buddy Barto saying Paget thought we were a couple. This isn’t the first time someone has thought I was gay. For the record, I am not gay. Hmmm…maybe I need start wearing Hooters t-shirts and listening to Creed or Bon Jovi. Maybe I’m not high fiving enough and using the word “bro”. My TiVo doesn’t think I’m gay.
May 1st, 2005 at 11:13 pm
Being mistaken for gay is a good thing. Nobody with bad style or horrible social skills would be mistaken as gay. Besides, straight girls love gay guys, so you have an in. I think your downfall (because I know you) is “this cheese is great because it’s local cheese” or “tomatoes are so much better if you don’t refrigerate them”, which overpowers your great sense of rhythm, and makes people think you’re gay. Too much attention on the little things, when you otherwise might be paying attention to other things - like BIG TITS!! But I like your style, and I like to know that tomatoes are better if you don’t put them in the refrigerator, and that local cheese is to be worshipped, so keep going with it no matter what others think of your sexual preference…
May 2nd, 2005 at 12:30 am
First off, I can’t believe you remember that I mentioned tomatoes are better when they’re not refrigerated.
Yes, straight girls love gay guys. Unfortunately, straight girls love gay guys in a “let’s go shopping and read fashion magazines together” kind of way. I don’t want to go shopping and read fashion magazines with straight girls. I want to kiss straight girls and give them a lap dance that drives them crazy.
Maybe I do need to talk about big tits more. The problem is that I don’t like big tits. I like small or medium sized tits. I could explain why, but that’s some good material for a future blog posting.
Thank you for the compliments and encouragement…
May 2nd, 2005 at 8:47 am
I’ve heard that gay people buy socks with the designs on the bottom.
May 4th, 2005 at 8:08 am
I’m going to have to concur with Vera’s point that being mistaken for a gay guy is actually a good thing.
Here’s the deal, Eli: I think I know you well enough to say that you likely desire a fun, quirky, smart, sexy urban beauty who loves music, dancing, culture and the impromptu vicissitudes of life. It’s unlikely that this type of woman would see fireworks if she were in the unfortunate position to have her gaze fall upon Joe Meathead donning a Hooters tee drenched in some offensive, hypermasculine cologne as he was partaking of his homoerotic rituals (high-five’n and ass-slappin’ over a game of heavy, full-body contact — e.g., U.S. football) and indulging his pill-popping Viagra habit on the side. Rest assured, my dear friend, this one little mistake is not a cause for heterosexual panic.
I also agree that tomatoes are better when they’re allowed to ripen at room temp.