crazy theory #1
I’ve noticed that I don’t have to go to the bathroom as often as other people. I’ve developed a theory about this, which I would now like to offer up for scholarly review. My theory relates to the fact that I am Jewish.
We’ve been on the run quite a bit, as a people. The ancient Egyptians were after us and we ran through the desert so fast we didn’t have time to let our bread rise. This was the first step toward creating a people who don’t have to pee frequently. I think the ones that had to stop and pee all the time got caught by the egyptians and were turned into slaves to build pyramids or something. Maybe a few frequent pee-ers managed to survive. Then in WWII we had to hide in various secret compartments to avoid getting sent to camps where people wanted us to take special showers that we wouldn’t live through. Now if you’re hiding in a secret compartment, you definitely cannot go to the bathroom often. The last remaining frequent pee-ers were caught and sent to the showers.
I once told this theory to a Jewish friend and he told me that he thought we were neurotic as a people for the same reason. All the easy going Jews got caught and killed. “Don’t worry man, we’ve got plenty of time — let the bread rise. No problem”. Caught.
March 29th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
That’s hilarioius, and I’m with you on the neurotic side, we’ve definitely made a place for ourselves in the world as that. But, are you serious about the peeing? Come on, have you ever met a jewish grandma? All they do is pee, and meet each other in the bathroom, and remember the last time they saw one another, which was in the bathroom, five minutes ago…
March 29th, 2005 at 3:17 pm
What about pooping? I poop nowhere near as much as most people! Can I attribute that to my being a Jew? I hope so!
Also, you don’t have to answer this for fear of keeping away any female admirers
April 26th, 2005 at 8:24 pm
I’m Jewish and I pee about three times a night on average. What’s the reasoning behind that one? Am I just an anomaly?